Getting Started Part One: What happened?!

I figured the best way to begin sharing my journey with you is to start at the beginning, as is best with most stories. I don't simply mean the time when I began regular exercise and better diet about four or five months ago. I'm going way back. I like to think this story starts in high school.

I was never exactly super fit or a glorious physical specimen of the human body by any means. I was always flabby and a bit on the larger side. However, my junior and senior year of high school, I was active. It was just about every day I was participating in a pick-up game of ultimate frisbee, football, basketball, or organized baseball for the high school. I was a little over 200 pounds in these days but I was in reasonable shape. I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted but I was able to maintain a weight around 200-205 pounds. I was comfortable with this weight and my level of fitness. I think everyone wishes they were faster, stronger, or more cut but overall I was satisfied. I hated "exercise". I never ran on a treadmill or really "worked out" in a gym. I stayed in shape by playing sports. I'm a very competitive person so even a casual pick-up game for me would end up being a sweaty workout.

I graduated high school in 2007 and planned to go to Baptist Bible College in Pennsylvania. I grew bitter towards baseball in my time playing for Ankeny High School for various reasons. Those reasons are a different story for a different time and not necessary to share in this timeline. I originally had no intention of participating in the Defender baseball team while going to BBC. After much thought and prayer, I decided to give it a try more or less to see if I could have fun playing baseball again like the good old days.

I participated in fall practice for the BBC baseball team and sure enough, my passion for the game came back. I actually felt like I was part of a team for the first time in four years. This was way different than high school. As many people know about me, I am incredibly injury prone. I got a severe groin injury junior year of high school and my senior year I injured my jaw in a game of flag football, a game designed to avoid contact. Unfortunately, I was not able to buck the injury bug once I got to college. A few short weeks into fall practice, I injured my elbow. Not only did I injure my elbow, I practiced through it and continued to throw, field, and hit with an arm I couldn't even lift to brush my teeth. An orthopedic surgeon would diagnose me with "severe tendonitis" on both sides of the elbow about two years later. Just as I was finding joy in the sport I've loved with such a passion after years of poor experiences, it was ripped away from me. I could no longer play baseball without intense pain in my elbow.

Several know of my experience and bad attitude I created for myself while at BBC for slightly under two semesters. That is, again, another story for another time so I will not dive into that now. I will, however, point out that this is where it all started. This is the point where not only my bitter, horrible attitude began but also where my weight gain began. I couldn't play baseball so I didn't really see the point in doing much else as far as physical activity was involved. I still participated in intramural sports BBC offered but did little else. I no longer was playing pick-up games everyday. I rarely left my dorm room.

Suddenly, my diet caught up to me. In high school, I ate garbage and still maintained my weight pretty well with all my activity cancelling some of it out. When I stopped being active, the trash I was putting into my body stuck around. There were plenty of healthy options in the dining hall at BBC but did I eat any of those? Nah. I enjoyed several slices of pizza dipped in ranch dressing and a small stack of cookies everyday for lunch. I slowly but surely began packing on the pounds.

The weight gain really took off when I got home, however. When I left BBC and came home for good, I was ashamed of the circumstances surrounding my departure. Being as ashamed as I was, I didn't want to talk about it at all. The best way to avoid talking about it, I learned, was to avoid people altogether. My inactivity continued as I avoided invites to ultimate frisbee, football, basketball, etc so I wouldn't have to talk to anybody. I stayed home most nights. Even my family I tried to avoid to an extent. I had no desire to talk to the people who cared and provided for me about BBC. Where does most family talk happen? At the dinner table. How did I avoid the dinner table without starving myself? Fast food. While my activity decreased, the junk I was eating increased.

Before I knew it, I weighed 265-270 pounds. I was over the 250 pound hump I used to fear and was now coming up fast on 300 pounds. In two short years, I gained over 60 pounds and was showing no signs of stopping that cycle. I'm not going to pretend I was on my deathbed or that I was to the point you see most contestants on shows such as Heavy or the Biggest Loser get to but, make no doubt about it, I was killing myself.

I wanted to change. I really did. Often I talked about eating better and working out. I would even start. I would never make it past the first day. That's what I find most scary.

I was killing myself. I was unhealthy. I wasn't at all what I used to be (and even that wasn't great) and I did nothing to stop. I saw myself spiraling down and I didn't care. Despite warnings from my family, I just didn't care.