Ok. Where was I? I was active in high school then went to BBC, got injured, got a bad attitude, got huge. Remember? Good.
In order to move on with my story, I need to share with you a portion of another person's story. I first met Stephanie Norton when I began working in childcare for the YMCA in Ankeny. I worked with her at Southeast Elementary for about a month or two before going to Crocker Elementary for the summer. I saw Stephanie a few times over the summer when sites would combine for various reasons or at all staff meetings. Every time I saw her, however sporadically, during that summer, I couldn't help noticing how much smaller she was getting.
Stephanie was a big girl when I met her in March of 2009. She wasn't a cow by any means but she will be the first to tell you that she was big. Little did I know, Stephanie was at a point in her life where she wasn't happy with her health and decided she needed to make a change. By the time the summer was over and I came back to Southeast for the next school year, she was a trim athlete and getting more and more fit. I began talking to her about the definite, noticeable change I saw and she was quick to tell me all about her change.
She was definitely the most driven and hard working person I have ever met. She consistently kicks her own backside and puts in a hard workout almost everyday. She will tell you this isn't true but she's also the most disciplined person I know with food. She made a complete turnaround from who she used to be and who she is now and I know she's much happier because of it.
When I first learned about her hard work and dedication, I instantly admired her. There are few people in this world I respect more than Stephanie. Even people who have never done it know that making such a dramatic life change is incredibly difficult. Not only did she lose so much weight but she did it in a healthy manner. She didn't starve herself or take a bunch of pills that lack FDA certification. She ate nutritious food and made herself sweat! It is staggering to think about the girl I first met two years ago and the girl she is now. It is crazy to think that she's ran three half marathons and, in the remainder of 2011 alone, she has two half marathons and her first full marathon planned.
Looking at Stephanie and her accomplishments inspired me. Look at all she's done. Why can't I do that? I established in the last post that I knew I was grossly overweight and unhealthy but couldn't motivate myself to care. I still couldn't motivate myself to care. Stephanie, however, could motivate me to care. And she did.
Over the next year or so, Stephanie and I became close friends. I would occasionally ask Steph if she would help me get into shape as she had done. She was always more than willing. However, I was not ready to change my trend of giving up after the first day.
Stephanie was patient with me. I think she probably knew I wasn't quite ready to commit to a lifestyle change so she didn't push me. She didn't yell at me for not exercising or yell at me for eating poorly regardless of how many times I swore I was going to change my habits. She did tease me a lot when she knew I ate garbage but she was more or less just joking around. That's what makes her great. She doesn't judge people for their health and fitness choices. And I can't count how many times she told me that she would be there for me if I needed any help.
I'm going to jump slightly ahead in the story real quick to right now. To some people, this may sound extreme but it is the 100% truth: Stephanie Nicole Norton is a hero to me. Forget all of the baseball players, the football players, the politicians, and the rock stars. Stephanie inspired me to change my life, motivated me to change my life, and has helped me in so many ways to change my life. She quite literally helped save my life. If that, along with her own accomplishments, doesn't make her a hero, I guess I don't know what a hero is.
I've tried thinking about it several times but I'm not quite sure what exactly pushed me over the edge. It may have been the realization that I gained almost seventy pounds in a few short years. It may have been the fact I couldn't help but notice how massive I was in our family Christmas photos compared to everyone else. It may have been the fact that I was breathing heavy at the top of our flight of ten steps. Whatever it was, I was sick of it.
I knew I wasn't this huge person I saw in the mirror or in pictures. I knew that underneath all of that, I was a competitive athlete. Even in high school, I never reached my full potential physically but this was ridiculous! This needed to stop! This needed to change!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Getting Started Part One: What happened?!
I figured the best way to begin sharing my journey with you is to start at the beginning, as is best with most stories. I don't simply mean the time when I began regular exercise and better diet about four or five months ago. I'm going way back. I like to think this story starts in high school.
I was never exactly super fit or a glorious physical specimen of the human body by any means. I was always flabby and a bit on the larger side. However, my junior and senior year of high school, I was active. It was just about every day I was participating in a pick-up game of ultimate frisbee, football, basketball, or organized baseball for the high school. I was a little over 200 pounds in these days but I was in reasonable shape. I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted but I was able to maintain a weight around 200-205 pounds. I was comfortable with this weight and my level of fitness. I think everyone wishes they were faster, stronger, or more cut but overall I was satisfied. I hated "exercise". I never ran on a treadmill or really "worked out" in a gym. I stayed in shape by playing sports. I'm a very competitive person so even a casual pick-up game for me would end up being a sweaty workout.
I graduated high school in 2007 and planned to go to Baptist Bible College in Pennsylvania. I grew bitter towards baseball in my time playing for Ankeny High School for various reasons. Those reasons are a different story for a different time and not necessary to share in this timeline. I originally had no intention of participating in the Defender baseball team while going to BBC. After much thought and prayer, I decided to give it a try more or less to see if I could have fun playing baseball again like the good old days.
I participated in fall practice for the BBC baseball team and sure enough, my passion for the game came back. I actually felt like I was part of a team for the first time in four years. This was way different than high school. As many people know about me, I am incredibly injury prone. I got a severe groin injury junior year of high school and my senior year I injured my jaw in a game of flag football, a game designed to avoid contact. Unfortunately, I was not able to buck the injury bug once I got to college. A few short weeks into fall practice, I injured my elbow. Not only did I injure my elbow, I practiced through it and continued to throw, field, and hit with an arm I couldn't even lift to brush my teeth. An orthopedic surgeon would diagnose me with "severe tendonitis" on both sides of the elbow about two years later. Just as I was finding joy in the sport I've loved with such a passion after years of poor experiences, it was ripped away from me. I could no longer play baseball without intense pain in my elbow.
Several know of my experience and bad attitude I created for myself while at BBC for slightly under two semesters. That is, again, another story for another time so I will not dive into that now. I will, however, point out that this is where it all started. This is the point where not only my bitter, horrible attitude began but also where my weight gain began. I couldn't play baseball so I didn't really see the point in doing much else as far as physical activity was involved. I still participated in intramural sports BBC offered but did little else. I no longer was playing pick-up games everyday. I rarely left my dorm room.
Suddenly, my diet caught up to me. In high school, I ate garbage and still maintained my weight pretty well with all my activity cancelling some of it out. When I stopped being active, the trash I was putting into my body stuck around. There were plenty of healthy options in the dining hall at BBC but did I eat any of those? Nah. I enjoyed several slices of pizza dipped in ranch dressing and a small stack of cookies everyday for lunch. I slowly but surely began packing on the pounds.
The weight gain really took off when I got home, however. When I left BBC and came home for good, I was ashamed of the circumstances surrounding my departure. Being as ashamed as I was, I didn't want to talk about it at all. The best way to avoid talking about it, I learned, was to avoid people altogether. My inactivity continued as I avoided invites to ultimate frisbee, football, basketball, etc so I wouldn't have to talk to anybody. I stayed home most nights. Even my family I tried to avoid to an extent. I had no desire to talk to the people who cared and provided for me about BBC. Where does most family talk happen? At the dinner table. How did I avoid the dinner table without starving myself? Fast food. While my activity decreased, the junk I was eating increased.
Before I knew it, I weighed 265-270 pounds. I was over the 250 pound hump I used to fear and was now coming up fast on 300 pounds. In two short years, I gained over 60 pounds and was showing no signs of stopping that cycle. I'm not going to pretend I was on my deathbed or that I was to the point you see most contestants on shows such as Heavy or the Biggest Loser get to but, make no doubt about it, I was killing myself.
I wanted to change. I really did. Often I talked about eating better and working out. I would even start. I would never make it past the first day. That's what I find most scary.
I was killing myself. I was unhealthy. I wasn't at all what I used to be (and even that wasn't great) and I did nothing to stop. I saw myself spiraling down and I didn't care. Despite warnings from my family, I just didn't care.
I was never exactly super fit or a glorious physical specimen of the human body by any means. I was always flabby and a bit on the larger side. However, my junior and senior year of high school, I was active. It was just about every day I was participating in a pick-up game of ultimate frisbee, football, basketball, or organized baseball for the high school. I was a little over 200 pounds in these days but I was in reasonable shape. I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted but I was able to maintain a weight around 200-205 pounds. I was comfortable with this weight and my level of fitness. I think everyone wishes they were faster, stronger, or more cut but overall I was satisfied. I hated "exercise". I never ran on a treadmill or really "worked out" in a gym. I stayed in shape by playing sports. I'm a very competitive person so even a casual pick-up game for me would end up being a sweaty workout.
I graduated high school in 2007 and planned to go to Baptist Bible College in Pennsylvania. I grew bitter towards baseball in my time playing for Ankeny High School for various reasons. Those reasons are a different story for a different time and not necessary to share in this timeline. I originally had no intention of participating in the Defender baseball team while going to BBC. After much thought and prayer, I decided to give it a try more or less to see if I could have fun playing baseball again like the good old days.
I participated in fall practice for the BBC baseball team and sure enough, my passion for the game came back. I actually felt like I was part of a team for the first time in four years. This was way different than high school. As many people know about me, I am incredibly injury prone. I got a severe groin injury junior year of high school and my senior year I injured my jaw in a game of flag football, a game designed to avoid contact. Unfortunately, I was not able to buck the injury bug once I got to college. A few short weeks into fall practice, I injured my elbow. Not only did I injure my elbow, I practiced through it and continued to throw, field, and hit with an arm I couldn't even lift to brush my teeth. An orthopedic surgeon would diagnose me with "severe tendonitis" on both sides of the elbow about two years later. Just as I was finding joy in the sport I've loved with such a passion after years of poor experiences, it was ripped away from me. I could no longer play baseball without intense pain in my elbow.
Several know of my experience and bad attitude I created for myself while at BBC for slightly under two semesters. That is, again, another story for another time so I will not dive into that now. I will, however, point out that this is where it all started. This is the point where not only my bitter, horrible attitude began but also where my weight gain began. I couldn't play baseball so I didn't really see the point in doing much else as far as physical activity was involved. I still participated in intramural sports BBC offered but did little else. I no longer was playing pick-up games everyday. I rarely left my dorm room.
Suddenly, my diet caught up to me. In high school, I ate garbage and still maintained my weight pretty well with all my activity cancelling some of it out. When I stopped being active, the trash I was putting into my body stuck around. There were plenty of healthy options in the dining hall at BBC but did I eat any of those? Nah. I enjoyed several slices of pizza dipped in ranch dressing and a small stack of cookies everyday for lunch. I slowly but surely began packing on the pounds.
The weight gain really took off when I got home, however. When I left BBC and came home for good, I was ashamed of the circumstances surrounding my departure. Being as ashamed as I was, I didn't want to talk about it at all. The best way to avoid talking about it, I learned, was to avoid people altogether. My inactivity continued as I avoided invites to ultimate frisbee, football, basketball, etc so I wouldn't have to talk to anybody. I stayed home most nights. Even my family I tried to avoid to an extent. I had no desire to talk to the people who cared and provided for me about BBC. Where does most family talk happen? At the dinner table. How did I avoid the dinner table without starving myself? Fast food. While my activity decreased, the junk I was eating increased.
Before I knew it, I weighed 265-270 pounds. I was over the 250 pound hump I used to fear and was now coming up fast on 300 pounds. In two short years, I gained over 60 pounds and was showing no signs of stopping that cycle. I'm not going to pretend I was on my deathbed or that I was to the point you see most contestants on shows such as Heavy or the Biggest Loser get to but, make no doubt about it, I was killing myself.
I wanted to change. I really did. Often I talked about eating better and working out. I would even start. I would never make it past the first day. That's what I find most scary.
I was killing myself. I was unhealthy. I wasn't at all what I used to be (and even that wasn't great) and I did nothing to stop. I saw myself spiraling down and I didn't care. Despite warnings from my family, I just didn't care.
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